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It’s the question that seems to be on everyone’s lips and minds…how-to-be-happy-techniques

“How can I be happy?”

Have you spent half a lifetime om-ing, affirming, penning gratitude journals, devouring self-help books, trying to master mindfulness, meditating and acquiring a technique for every eventuality? Maybe you’ve visited counsellors, hypnotherapists or taken drugs (prescription or otherwise) – all in a bid to find that elusive answer of how to be happy.

Feeling much happier after all that effort?

If you’re still not finding happiness, then the great news is that by reading on just a bit more you’ll learn about something that does work effortlessly – and it’s something so simple and effective.

In fact, you might feel annoyed that you hadn’t been told about it before.

It’s the biggest misunderstanding ever

I’d spent most of my adult life looking for the answer to a happy life, delving through the trunk with the lid engraved ‘Self-help – ye olde long-lost happiness can be found here’, over-flowing with NLP, hypnosis (even past-life regression) and meditation techniques.

happiness techniquesI was chucking self-help books over my shoulder so I could get to the really good stuff at the bottom of the trunk, hoping there was a gem amongst the dust balls and dead woodlice. But there isn’t, is there? I know you’ve been there too – it’s like a jumble sale, that trunk, so many of us have rummaged through the junk in there.

When I found it, I knew in an instant that I’d found exactly what I didn’t know I’d been looking for: it was the answer to happiness, ease and peace. But the total mind-f*ck? I’d been born with all of that, fitted as standard and it had never gone anywhere… it just LOOKED like it had.

So here we are… Born Happy: I was and you were too. Happiness is our natural state. The fact is is that the same thing happens to most of us – we forget that we’re designed to be happy.

So how do we remember how to be happy?

It’s a LOT easier and simpler than you’d think. No techniques, no practising, no trying to do anything very much at all really.

It starts with understanding that our minds don’t work the way we think they work

Yes really. We’ve had it the wrong way around all the time.

We all bop around the world, with stuff happening to us – neighbours parking in our spaces, children refusing to eat the lovingly prepared organic vegetable bake, spouses not emptying the bin, bosses demanding impossible deadlines. And that’s just the every day minutae. Then there’s the  big stuff: redundancies, births, deaths, divorces and cakes not rising.

It’s no wonder we lurch from stress, anger, hurt, scared and sadness and it explains why we’re all desperately seeking happiness.

But actually NOTHING is happening to us to make us stressed, angry, hurt, scared or sad.

Say whaaat?! Yes, nothing. It’s just LOOKS like that’s what’s happening.

So, what is REALLY going on? 

We think a thought and we feel the related feeling.

You know all that stuff… the selfish neighbours, ungrateful children, the messy spouses, the demanding bosses, redundancies, births, deaths, divorces and cakes not rising? It’s how we’re THINKING about those things that creates the feelings of feeling stressed, angry, hurt or sad. Not the things themselves.

How we feel isn’t because of what’s happening outside of us. It’s NEVER happening that way around.

How we feel is down to what we’re thinking about in that moment. And it ALWAYS works this way around.

Happiness inside

How we feel is:

  • NOT down to our upbringing
  • NOT due to genetics
  • NOT because of a past event
  • NOT our personality
  • NOT because of something someone has said to us
  • NOT as a result of our current circumstances

No siree… it’s simply that every moment of every day, we are FEELING our own THINKING. That is all. At any moment, a different feeling, a new belief, losing a limitation is just one thought away.

Really?! It’s just what I’m thinking?  

Yes!

Supercoach Michael Neill explains this in a really simple (and entertaining way) in his Tedx Talk.

“You’re never scared of what you think you’re scared of, you’re scared of what you think.”
– Michael Neill

We are not inherently sad or happy, and life events aren’t sad or happy – we’re just thinking thoughts which make it seem that way. It’s the same with pretty much any emotion you can think of. Once we begin to understand that, we see that all of our behaviours, limitations and fears are just created by our thoughts – and we’ll start to see that we’ll have a different experience of life when we have different thoughts.

Which is the key that unlocks the secret of how to be happy.

If there’s a man who knew about this it was Viktor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D. an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist – and a Holocaust survivor. The truly cool thing about this man and his story isn’t the fact that he survived those horrendous circumstances of the loss of loved ones, cruelty, hardship and slave labour but that he continued to see the beauty and meaning in life. He said:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances”.

And that he did, in spades.

So here’s a question for you: he was given the same circumstances as others swept into the Holocaust and yet, experienced it very differently to many of them. So if the circumstances were the same what created that different experience?

Thought.

You can see that it was his thoughts, right? Just his thoughts. Isn’t that perfectly obvious and yet the total opposite of how we tend to imagine finding happiness works?

thoughts and happiness

It’s so easy (and human) to get caught up in the illusion that we create by our thoughts that we think it IS reality. What we miss is that we can create so many different realities when we’re thinking – and therefore feeling – differently.

We feel what we think – and it’s the only way it works. This is one of life’s constants, just like gravity.

The clipboard and files bit: research and evidence

Right now you might be wondering “…but how does knowing this actually make me feel any happier? Where’s the proof?”

Research how to be happyIt sounds crazy, right? And yet… there’s LOTS of evidence of how understanding the principles behind our inborn happiness has worked nigh-on miracles for tens of thousands of people.

There’s been research and case studies spanning Fortune 500 and FTSE 100 Companies, drug and alcohol rehabilitation centres, the US Department of Defence. The results include:

  • A housing project in California went from having one of the state’s highest murder rates – down to zero.
  • In business, BAE systems found that the ability for their employees to remain calm regardless of circumstance increased by 90%.
  • In schools, a reduction of 80% in truancy rates.

It’s no hyperbole to say this is utterly life changing 

Understanding this has been shown to alleviate most mental and emotional issues you can think of including stress, phobias, eating disorders including over-eating, anxiety, depression and addictions (our Podcast, personal journeys and many of our articles give lots more real life examples).

It’s been shown to be so much more effective for finding happiness than anything else out there that many ‘celebrity’ and well-known coaches, practitioners and best-selling authors of the NLP, EFT, and hypnotherapy worlds (such as Michael Neill and Jamie Smart, both who have featured on Born Happy) have ditched their previous careers and now work with their clients on how to find happiness solely via showing them that they already have it.

There are psychiatrists and psychologists who have ceased using traditional forms of psychotherapy as they’ve seen that an understanding of innate wellbing does far more than just alleviate specific issues, it actually provides people with a previously unimaginable level of happiness and wellbeing.

And our own revolutionary happiness course Happy School is based on teaching this in a very simple and ridiculously effective way (we’re so confident in the results that Happy School comes with a “Happier or your money back’ guarantee).

So… I simply understand these principles and I’ll be happy? 

Almost… remember I said at the start that you’re born happy and that happiness has never gone away?

The answer to ‘how to be happy?’ comes from understanding that true happiness is always there, present in every moment and every experience, it just doesn’t appear to be when you’re having insecure, fearful or negative thoughts.

happiness beneath thoughts

As you begin to see that ALL THOUGHTS are JUST THOUGHT, you’ll be more able to take them lightly. Thoughts which cause you painful emotions will flow on through and you’ll notice that your natural state of happiness, clarity and calm is always there beneath the thought.

So… onto finding happiness

This is going to be the start of an amazing journey for you and I’m sooo pleased you’ve begun it here. The fabulous news is: There’s very little for you to do, we’re here to hold your hand all the way and it’s going to be fun!

Want to get more clarity on how to find happiness? Here’s 3 great next steps for you:

  1. Subscribe to our mailing list to get:
    • The FREE happiness rediscovery bundle.
    • My weekly email with all the latest Born Happy news and events
  2. Join our online class, absolutely FREE!
    FREE CLASS ON HOW TO BE HAPPY
  3. Try the 3 steps to being happier

Oh and if there’s anything else you need, please drop me an email – it would be great to hear from you!

Love,
Lian
xo