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About the author
Matt Watkins

Matt Watkins

Matt Watkins is a badass professional coach who owns HairMeetFire.com, where he explores what it means to live a life dedicated to lighting your hair on fire and returning back to your true, innate, badass nature. While Matt has been a coach all of his life, he only found out that it was a career option several years ago, and since then he has ate, drink, slept, breathed and gone on journey after journey to discover what it takes to transform lives. While these journeys have taken him through certification in NLP and traditional coaching and training in hypnosis, over the past year he has been fascinated and blown away by changework grounded in the a Three Principles-based understanding. Currently, he is finishing one of the world’s first Master’s Degrees in Mind-Body Medicine and is pursuing certification as a transformational coach through Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy. You can learn more and contact Matt through his website, hairmeetfire.com.

“Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

It’s a phrase of tremendous historical importance, and that is cool and all, except for one tiny little thing…

…the founding fathers fucked up.

That’s right- I said it.  They kinda sorta screwed the pooch on that one when they said it, although in all fairness, they aren’t really to blame.  They just missed the same thing that just about every single person that has ever lived has missed as well.

So what is it?

That “the pursuit of happiness” is a crock of shit – plain and simple.

Why?  Because happiness isn’t something to be pursued, it is something we already have… we just think that we don’t.

And that is the trick of it – we just think that we don’t.  But for our confusion about the source and nature of our personal thinking and that we create our entire experience of reality through the power of thought, we’d never not be happy.  It is so plainly obvious and in our face that we completely miss it and rush past it in our pursuit of it.

Ain’t that a bitch?

You see, in order for it to be pursued, it’d have to exist somewhere outside of us as something that we can actually, well, pursue.  AND WE THINK WE CAN.  We rush around all over the damn place trying to find it in the next drink or raise or dollar or new-shiny-thing or significant other, and when we FINALLY obtain it, we wonder why it is cool for a bit, but then we are left feeling empty and looking for our next fix.

For 99% of people, we think that happiness is something that we can obtain, and hell, all of our cultures support the claim and no one has ever told us otherwise, so why would we question it?  Even the biggest and most famous personalities in the self-help and personal development fields support the notion that with enough internal and external work, we might finally get what we want and it’ll be the key to happiness.

Hell, I’m certainly not been immune to this – I fell for the very same misunderstanding of where happiness comes from.  I thought that I’d find happiness in the approval of others.  I thought I might find it in a relationship with someone.  I thought that I’d find it in a low risk, salaried 9-to-5 career, and then I thought I’d find it in being a self-made business owner that plays by his own rules.  I thought I’d find it in six-pack abs and a sub-10% body fat percentage.  I thought that I’d find it in going to have a few drinks with friends.  I thought that I’d find it when I’d sign into my bank account and see certain (big) numbers.

I thought I’d find it in a ton of places, and all of them were outside of me, where I couldn’t ever hope to find it.

We all just miss the fact that happiness has been right where we’d least expect it the whole time, and that it has never gone anywhere because it can’t.  It simply isn’t one of the options or possibilities on offer.

At worst, the only thing that can ever happen is that we lose sight of our connection to it.

I mean, have you ever really stopped to think just why happiness is so attractive in the first place?

Really, have you?

Because I think if you have you might just notice that happiness is so damn attractive because it feels so damn natural, and we seem to be really freakin’ attracted to what feels natural to us.

Being happy feels natural and effortless because it is natural, and it is what we return to when we allow our connection to our personal thinking to fade away.

Who knew?

SO HERE IS MY CHALLENGE TO YOU – if what I’ve said makes sense and if it is setting off your internal tuning forks, give yourself permission to take a break from the pursuit of happiness and see what happens.  See what happens when you slow down enough to notice that maybe, just maybe, what you’ve been pursuing has been there all along.

You might just be surprised with what you find- I certainly know I was!

-Matt

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Written by | Matt Watkins

Matt Watkins is a badass professional coach who owns HairMeetFire.com, where he explores what it means to live a life dedicated to lighting your hair on fire and returning back to your true, innate, badass nature. While Matt has been a coach all of his life, he only found out that it was a career option several years ago, and since then he has ate, drink, slept, breathed and gone on journey after journey to discover what it takes to transform lives. While these journeys have taken him through certification in NLP and traditional coaching and training in hypnosis, over the past year he has been fascinated and blown away by changework grounded in the a Three Principles-based understanding. Currently, he is finishing one of the world’s first Master’s Degrees in Mind-Body Medicine and is pursuing certification as a transformational coach through Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy. You can learn more and contact Matt through his website, hairmeetfire.com.

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